When I say BAD I am not being negative on myself, quite the opposite, I am accepting that perfection is not achievable.
I have been receiving so many lovely comments on my blog about how well I talk to my son, how beautifully and effortlessly I seem to explain things to him and yes, I really do try hard…but I do not want to lead you down a rocky path of pretence. I do bugger up a lot, sometimes I am too sleep deprived to be empathetic…like all of us I am not ‘mummy’ Teresa.
We are all just trying to cope…so in solidarity to the ‘oops’ times I have listed my ten best, or depending how you look at it, worst, parenting fails.
I realised when my son was 2 weeks old all the things I said I would never do as a mum, I would do. Dummy, Tv, sugar, shouting etc…DONE IT
1.When I binge watch Netflix at night then pretend the internet does not work in the daytime when my son wants to watch the same episode of Paw patrol for the 100th time. At least we have moved on from Peppa pig.
2. When I force little man to stand by and at times sit upon the laps of unknown people in various itchy, likely smelly costumes and smile as I take photos whilst simultaneously instructing him to never talk to strangers. One year Santa was particularly terrifying and Leo held on to the door of the grotto and screamed…Not such a Merry Christmas.
3. When he was potty training and had successfully done a wee on the toilet, I went to delightedly high five him, I misjudged and basically just ended up with my hand missing his and pushing him into the loo. We now play it safe with ‘well-done’ stickers.
4. When I made him dress up as a pumpkin.
5. When I wheeled Leo in his buggy into a mannequin in a shop whilst trying to walk and rummage in my handbag for wet wipes. There were no mannequin related nightmares but I am prepared for this to be a phobia in later life.
6. His coordination. Genetic gifting of a run that will ensure Leo is mocked at sports day, will never be able catch a ball and even at the age of five his dance moves will be unnervingly dad like; I am a fan of the jellyfish move where you just shake everything.
7. When I made him put a glass over the spider on the floor as I stood on the sofa and freaked out.
8. Every time I say the sentence, ‘if you do not do (Insert instruction here) Santa will know and will not bring you presents this year.’
9. When I hide from my son in the bathroom… he now thinks I have a pooing problem. Worse than that, when I steal his Haribo and hide in the bathroom eating them and tweeting about how I am eating them.
10. The other day when Leo and I were playing shops and I was buying the shopping for three pence and after he had put my plastic egg and wooden bread in a bag said, ‘don’t forget your bottle of wine mummy’. Shame….shame…shame…
Come on its a safe space, share some of your moments or fails, parenting is not about perfection. Though I probably should cut back on the wine…
Don’t apologise it’s all character building! Haha
No.3 made me laugh aloud! I haven’t had many yet (there’s plenty of time for it though!). My worst is probably running from a wasp and forgetting to take Little One with me. I made Hubby go back and get him!
Ha ha Can I borrow him to get rid of the spiders we get! Love this! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x
Borrow him any time you like 😉 Thank you that is an amazing compliment 🙂 It is a fab linky, now I have worked out my blogger teething problems/fails when I was Tweeting about linkys, putting badges on my posts..but forgetting to add my post to the pages…headslap…sorted now though, only took me 3 months 🙂 xx
Just remembered last night my daughter said, when I’m bigger I’m always going to drink wine like you….oops! #ablogginggoodtime
Haha we have taught our children good lessons..adult apple juice…x
I’m just imagining you pushing him into the loo by accident 🙂
…I am a bad person….would have been worse if it was on purpose…x
This is brilliant. A nice reminder that we are all normal. My mishap recently was leaving my spicey food unattended and within reach. I turned for a millisecond and turned back to see C spitting food out and frantically stroking his poor tongue. I don’t think it’ll put him off curries for life but it certainly taught him not to steal Mummy’s food for a while! #chucklemums
Haha bless! I think my son did that before with raw onion from my salad…as you said it might keep them from stealing mummies food!!xx
Did you really push your son into a mannequin – those things scare me to death!!! The final one is my fave though!!! A woman after my own heart, pass the bottle darling ? #ablogginggoodtime
Haha if you lived closer darling it would be you me and a bottle or two 🙂 big love to you xxx
Oh I sit on the loo while playing on my phone with him in the room! I let him pull the toilet roll out and let him smack the lid against me while I sit there! I wouldn’t call any of these parenting fails, more like parent mile stones! #triballove
Haha I love you and him! You are a parenting legend….xxx
hahaha! The preteen has to rid the house of any ‘creatures’ when the husband isn’t home while me and the teen stand huddled together.. lol – Oh, and she also has a habit of shouting from aisle 1 where she is to aisle 10 where I am “Have you got your wine yet mum?” the whole shop knows its more than just at weekends 😉 this was really funny to read! #chucklemums
Hey lovely, I feel better I am not the only parent to lure their kids into dealing with creepy crawlies..or glug the wine 🙂 xxx
That last one is classic – R once piped up on the ferry boat “The boat doesn’t sell wine Mummy!” …at 10am…#chucklemums
Haha our boys are going to be very well informed about life and excellent future boyfriends that purchase wine for their other half’s…xxx
Number ten is not a fail, it’s a good education 😉
I like your thinking…..xxx
This is brilliant!! I use #8 on a DAILY basis. I also told him if he was naughty I’d give his toys to another little boy. Then he asked who this boy was. “Adam” I replied (first name to come to mind!) He now dislikes anyone he mets called Adam!! Terrible.
Bahahha I just cried a little at this….how to start an Adam vendetta!!xxx
I apologise wholeheartedly to all the Adams out there.
Haha I love the last one. At least it wasn’t at the supermarket… 😉 Thanks for linking to #chucklemums!
Thank you for such a fab linky, I need a laugh today, I will endeavour to practise my funny!!xx
Haha this is brilliant! Is it bad that I laughed about you high-fiving him into the toilet? There are some things I have yet to cave on, but I do sometimes pretend that I am going upstairs so that I can sit on my phone uninterrupted for 5 minutes. Bad mommy! (In my defence, she plays so contently when I am not in the room..) Lucy xx #TribalLove
Wow can we trade children Leo will not play independently and its getting worse as he gets older…I am like why don’t you colour alone for five minutes….nope….aghh…I have got very good at playing cars…x
Ahaha I love it! I am so glad other people dress their babies in ridiculous outfits. Pushing him into the toilet – poor guy but ahaha!!! Our boy hasn’t got a shred of hope at being able to dance, either.
Our boys can just look handsome and nod their heads in that cool way on the side of the dancefloor…no one will ever know..xxx
That one about accidentally pushing him into the toilet! ? Poor thing but so funny! #tribe
He no longer likes to high five me….how to traumatise your child page one…..xx
So far my fails consist of getting puked and peed on. Pretty tame compared to most though. #TribalLove
Haha nails like a Jackson Pollock painting!!!x