Ten Times I was a Bad Mummy #Parentfails (That I Have Learnt To Laugh At).

When I say BAD I am not being negative on myself, quite the opposite, I am accepting that perfection is not achievable.

I have been receiving so many lovely comments on my blog about how well I talk to my son, how beautifully and effortlessly I seem to explain things to him and yes, I really do try hard…but I do not want to lead you down a rocky path of pretence. I do bugger up a lot, sometimes I am too sleep deprived to be empathetic…like all of us I am not ‘mummy’ Teresa.

We are all just trying to cope…so in solidarity to the ‘oops’ times I have listed my ten best, or depending how you look at it, worst, parenting fails.

I realised when my son was 2 weeks old all the things I said I would never do as a mum, I would do. Dummy, Tv, sugar, shouting etc…DONE IT

1.When I binge watch Netflix at night then pretend the internet does not work in the daytime when my son wants to watch the same episode of Paw patrol for the 100th time. At least we have moved on from Peppa pig.

2. When I force little man to stand by and at times sit upon the laps of unknown people in various itchy, likely smelly costumes and smile as I take photos whilst simultaneously instructing him to never talk to strangers. One year Santa was particularly terrifying and Leo held on to the door of the grotto and screamed…Not such a Merry Christmas.

3. When he was potty training and had successfully done a wee on the toilet, I went to delightedly high five him, I misjudged and basically just ended up with my hand missing his and pushing him into the loo. We now play it safe with ‘well-done’ stickers.

4. When I made him wear these outfits…and for when he gets his first girlfriend/boyfriend and I show them the pictures.


four pciture sof the same baby dressed up in different outfits, a kitten, a pumpkin, a devil and superman.


5. When I wheeled Leo in his buggy into a mannequin in a shop whilst trying to walk and rummage in my handbag for wet wipes. There were no mannequin related nightmares but I am prepared for this to be a phobia in later life.

6. His coordination. Genetic gifting of a run that will ensure Leo is mocked at sports day, will never be able catch a ball and even at the age of five his dance moves will be unnervingly dad like; I am a fan of the jellyfish move where you just shake everything.

7. When I made him put a glass over the spider on the floor as I stood on the sofa and freaked out.

8. Every time I say the sentence, ‘if you do not do (Insert instruction here) Santa will know and will not bring you presents this year.’

9. When I hide from my son in the bathroom… he now thinks I have a pooing problem. Worse than that, when I steal his Haribo and hide in the bathroom eating them and tweeting about how I am eating them.

10. The other day when Leo and I were playing shops and I was buying the shopping for three pence and after he had put my plastic egg and wooden bread in a bag said, ‘don’t forget your bottle of wine mummy’. Shame….shame…shame…


Come on its a safe space, share some of your moments or fails, parenting is not about perfection. Though I probably should cut back on the wine…

You Baby Me Mummy

Diary of an imperfect mum


  1. June 28, 2016 / 9:05 am

    So far my fails consist of getting puked and peed on. Pretty tame compared to most though. #TribalLove

  2. min1980
    June 28, 2016 / 9:25 am

    That one about accidentally pushing him into the toilet! 😂 Poor thing but so funny! #tribe

    • June 29, 2016 / 11:19 am

      He no longer likes to high five me….how to traumatise your child page one…..xx

  3. June 28, 2016 / 2:59 pm

    Ahaha I love it! I am so glad other people dress their babies in ridiculous outfits. Pushing him into the toilet – poor guy but ahaha!!! Our boy hasn’t got a shred of hope at being able to dance, either.

    • June 29, 2016 / 11:21 am

      Our boys can just look handsome and nod their heads in that cool way on the side of the dancefloor…no one will ever know..xxx

  4. June 28, 2016 / 3:27 pm

    Haha this is brilliant! Is it bad that I laughed about you high-fiving him into the toilet? There are some things I have yet to cave on, but I do sometimes pretend that I am going upstairs so that I can sit on my phone uninterrupted for 5 minutes. Bad mommy! (In my defence, she plays so contently when I am not in the room..) Lucy xx #TribalLove

    • June 29, 2016 / 11:23 am

      Wow can we trade children Leo will not play independently and its getting worse as he gets older…I am like why don’t you colour alone for five minutes….nope….aghh…I have got very good at playing cars…x

  5. June 28, 2016 / 7:16 pm

    Haha I love the last one. At least it wasn’t at the supermarket… 😉 Thanks for linking to #chucklemums!

    • June 29, 2016 / 11:24 am

      Thank you for such a fab linky, I need a laugh today, I will endeavour to practise my funny!!xx

  6. June 28, 2016 / 9:36 pm

    This is brilliant!! I use #8 on a DAILY basis. I also told him if he was naughty I’d give his toys to another little boy. Then he asked who this boy was. “Adam” I replied (first name to come to mind!) He now dislikes anyone he mets called Adam!! Terrible.

    • June 29, 2016 / 11:25 am

      Bahahha I just cried a little at this….how to start an Adam vendetta!!xxx

      • June 29, 2016 / 11:28 am

        I apologise wholeheartedly to all the Adams out there.

  7. moderatemum
    June 29, 2016 / 6:14 am

    Number ten is not a fail, it’s a good education 😉

  8. June 29, 2016 / 11:23 am

    That last one is classic – R once piped up on the ferry boat “The boat doesn’t sell wine Mummy!” …at 10am…#chucklemums

    • June 29, 2016 / 11:27 am

      Haha our boys are going to be very well informed about life and excellent future boyfriends that purchase wine for their other half’s…xxx

  9. June 29, 2016 / 3:50 pm

    hahaha! The preteen has to rid the house of any ‘creatures’ when the husband isn’t home while me and the teen stand huddled together.. lol – Oh, and she also has a habit of shouting from aisle 1 where she is to aisle 10 where I am “Have you got your wine yet mum?” the whole shop knows its more than just at weekends 😉 this was really funny to read! #chucklemums

    • June 30, 2016 / 7:33 am

      Hey lovely, I feel better I am not the only parent to lure their kids into dealing with creepy crawlies..or glug the wine 🙂 xxx

  10. twotinyhands
    June 29, 2016 / 8:41 pm

    Oh I sit on the loo while playing on my phone with him in the room! I let him pull the toilet roll out and let him smack the lid against me while I sit there! I wouldn’t call any of these parenting fails, more like parent mile stones! #triballove

  11. June 30, 2016 / 6:42 pm

    Did you really push your son into a mannequin – those things scare me to death!!! The final one is my fave though!!! A woman after my own heart, pass the bottle darling 🌸 #ablogginggoodtime

    • July 2, 2016 / 7:41 am

      Haha if you lived closer darling it would be you me and a bottle or two 🙂 big love to you xxx

  12. July 1, 2016 / 11:03 am

    This is brilliant. A nice reminder that we are all normal. My mishap recently was leaving my spicey food unattended and within reach. I turned for a millisecond and turned back to see C spitting food out and frantically stroking his poor tongue. I don’t think it’ll put him off curries for life but it certainly taught him not to steal Mummy’s food for a while! #chucklemums

    • July 2, 2016 / 7:43 am

      Haha bless! I think my son did that before with raw onion from my salad…as you said it might keep them from stealing mummies food!!xx

    • July 18, 2016 / 12:35 pm

      …I am a bad person….would have been worse if it was on purpose…x

  13. July 16, 2016 / 1:40 pm

    Just remembered last night my daughter said, when I’m bigger I’m always going to drink wine like you….oops! #ablogginggoodtime

    • July 18, 2016 / 12:36 pm

      Haha we have taught our children good lessons..adult apple juice…x

  14. You Baby Me Mummy
    July 18, 2016 / 8:34 pm

    Ha ha Can I borrow him to get rid of the spiders we get! Love this! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

    • July 19, 2016 / 11:24 am

      Borrow him any time you like 😉 Thank you that is an amazing compliment 🙂 It is a fab linky, now I have worked out my blogger teething problems/fails when I was Tweeting about linkys, putting badges on my posts..but forgetting to add my post to the pages…headslap…sorted now though, only took me 3 months 🙂 xx

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