Home All Posts What you should do if co-parenting doesn’t work

What you should do if co-parenting doesn’t work

by Author: Jade Lloyd

Co-parenting isn’t always smooth sailing, especially when emotions run high and communication falters. Disagreements can escalate, leaving you frustrated and feeling as though nothing you do is making a difference. 

When the situation becomes unworkable, it’s important to know there are steps you can take to protect your children’s wellbeing and reduce conflict. 

This article provides practical advice to help you manage the situation effectively and move toward a more stable arrangement.

Don’t do everything alone

When co-parenting breaks down, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and as though all the responsibility falls on your shoulders. However, trying to handle everything alone can lead to burnout and resentment. 

Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can offer emotional support or practical help, such as childcare or an empathetic ear when you need to vent.

If you’re struggling to navigate the complexities of co-parenting, consider seeking the help of a mediator or family counsellor. These professionals are trained to facilitate constructive discussions between parents and can help you and your ex-partner find common ground. 

They can also offer strategies for improving communication, which may ease some of the tension and create a healthier environment.

Avoid speaking negatively

In the heat of frustration, it might feel tempting to vent about your ex-partner, especially in front of your children. Resist this urge, as negative comments about the other parent can confuse and upset your child.

This may force them to take sides or feel guilty about their relationship with one of you, and this behaviour can harm their emotional development and strain bonds.

Instead, focus on shielding your children from potential conflicts. If you need to express your frustrations, do so with a trusted friend, counsellor, or support group. 

Keeping discussions with your ex-partner civil models respectful communication and reduces the risk of escalating conflicts further.

Establish new boundaries

When co-parenting doesn’t work, it’s often because the boundaries between you and your ex-partner have blurred or been ignored. To create a more workable dynamic, establish clear rules about communication and decision-making.

Avoid discussing non-parenting topics, as this can open the door to old arguments. Be consistent with your boundaries and enforce them respectfully.

If your ex-partner struggles to respect the limits you’ve set, gently remind them of the agreed-upon terms. Setting these boundaries can reduce unnecessary arguments and provide a framework for more productive interactions.

Consider legal action

If your efforts to resolve co-parenting issues fail, you may need to explore legal options. Speak to a family law solicitor for guidance. They can advise you on your rights and help you navigate the legal process to ensure your children’s best interests are prioritised.

You might need to apply for a Child Arrangements Order, which sets out where the children will live, how much time they will spend with each parent, and other important decisions. 

A solicitor can assist you in preparing your case and ensuring that all required documentation is in order. Although taking legal action can feel daunting, it may provide the stability and structure your children need when other approaches have not worked.

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