Home Parenting & Family Broken Parenting Rules: The TV #Fiveminutespeace

Broken Parenting Rules: The TV #Fiveminutespeace

by Author: Jade Lloyd

Tv. A lifesaver? A sanity tester? A parental indiscretion?

I said Leo would never watch Tv. Pre-mum me said so many things.

Three years later the screen became my single parent backup. My savior on THOSE DAYS. You can distract a biscuit covered, wailing offspring with Mr Tumble and they will instantly be entranced. After four broken hours sleep, I couldn’t care less if the high pitched, happy singing was irretrievably effecting my littles prefrontal cortex.

Mummy was blissfully, bloody glad of the silence. She had ten minutes to cry in the bathroom and tell her pale reflection she could do it, and was doing well.

And we are.

Does anyone actually know what Mummy Pig does for a job, why the Teletubbies look like Oompa Loompa’s who got it on with colourful coat hangers? And why Doctor Ranj has such giant, impeccably groomed eyebrows?

Did anyone else start to find Mr Bloom disarmingly attractive whilst singing to pretend vegetables in his tweed hat? Just me then.

Your offspring would watch TV all day if you let them. And sometimes, you consider it. Songs, colours and smiles. Creepy smiles, that are too wide. CBBC presenters take Prozac.

And none of them have children.

Square eyes??

This is not a debate. I refuse to feel bad, am tired of apologising for everything. Dora the explorer is not telling my child to take drugs, play with knives or set fires. I do not advocate for letting tiny tots watch seven hours a day, but do for some latitude on having five minutes of Sesame Street for a precious parenting asset: a few minutes. A few minutes make me a better mother, to breathe away frustrations. To put dinner on, to hold him close, snuggled on the sofa.

Tv is no longer a distraction since my son turned five. Currently it’s all about Madagascar in our house. We have seen it 543 times. I actually now believe Ben Stiller is a lion. Madagascar, approximately an hour of Leo constantly talking to himself, the Tv, anyone within a hearing radius.

“I like that, oh the monkey threw a carrot, what do monkeys smell like? Can we have a monkey? Why is a monkey called a monkey mummy? Can I have a drink? Oh my goodness that’s funny. MUMMY watch this bit.”

He will pause for breath….then continue the high pitch waffling. He will then pause again to regroup and stare at the screen for five minutes without blinking. I wonder whether I should prod him and check for signs of life.

The chatter resumes. Louder. And faster.

“Mummy did you see that? Oh my goodness!

My favorite (not) thing? When your child then proceeds to repeat what is being said by the characters in the movie. Then ask you what is happening, 234 times. ‘WATCH THIS BUT MUMMMY, WATCH IT.’

My few minutes have been replaced with a barrage of questions but I love his curiosity. Are you torn between Tv and no Tv? Sitting weighted with guilt because you put it on for ten minutes. Don’t.

Parenting is not perfection.

TV doesn’t have to be your first choice.  Supervise what is being watched, regulate watching run in the garden when it is sunny. If you watch CBBC when your kids not in the room, you have probably lost it.

Disclaimer: Before any outraged troll typed wish to berate me for letting my offspring watch TV…we watch a programme every few days. And, we own wellies. We don’t watch Criminal minds.  Guidelines are taken seriously, but we live realistically.


What I your opinion of the big talking box? For, against? Do you fancy Mr Bloom too?

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

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mrs l baker 26th January 2017 - 11:50 am

omg! I also had one addicted mr tumble lover but…..wait till your kiddies get iphones/ipads…..addicted is not the word!! however mummy pig here gets to cook tea, prepare lunchboxes, sort the mail and clean up…mmm…tv is now soooo oldschool, she hardly watches it!

louise baker 26th January 2017 - 11:49 am

omg! I also had one addicted mr tumble lover but…..wait till your kiddies get iphones/ipads…..addicted is not the word!! however mummy pig here gets to cook tea, prepare lunchboxes, sort the mail and clean up…mmm…tv is now soooo oldschool, she hardly watches it!

Geraldine 17th January 2017 - 3:00 pm

I’ll be honest my 3 year old girl is a big fan of batman and loves to watch it. We let her. You wouldnt believe the imagination she has and the stories she comes up with when she pretends to be batman (I’m robin and daddy is alfred apparently) We love to see her make up little stories in her head and wont be berating ourselves for letting her watch tv any time soon 🙂 #KCACOLS

Jade 17th January 2017 - 5:31 pm

Baha oww poor daddy, though Alfred makes a good cup of tea. I love it when little girls like superhero’s. My friends daughter loves superman and always has a little cape xx

Bread 16th January 2017 - 7:52 pm

I grew up in front of a television. Usually reading at the same time. I would like Phineas to watch way less television I did as a kid. We’ll see. Plans change, nothing is set in stone in life, more so when it comes to kids. #kcacols

Tracey Bowden 16th January 2017 - 1:22 pm

My daughter was never one for sitting in front of the tv watching it. More like having it on for background noise really and sometimes she is still like that now. She tends to just go off to her bedroom only to return when I turn the Disney channel off to moan at me to put it back on again. She wasn’t even in the room! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

Alana - Burnished Chaos 15th January 2017 - 11:27 pm

The tv is definitely a sanity saver in this house, but like yours, my son never stops taking or asking questions all the way through. I don’t think a bit of to does them any harm as long as they’re still doing other things and staying active too. In fact, some programs can actually be quite eductional. My 7yr old has recently become fascinated with nature programs after we let him watch the latest Planet Earth series, and weirdly loves Who Do You Think You Are for all the history.

Jenn @ Mad Mommy 12th January 2017 - 5:21 am

My boys get to watch to TV weekends in the morning. While I try to catch an extra hour of sleep. Sometimes another hour while I try to have a nap. The rest of the time they are generally playing in their room, together or independently. I don’t feel ashamed – usually – and because of shows like “The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That” and “The Magic School Bus” my 4-year-old is quite knowledgeable. #KCACOLS

RachelSwirl 9th January 2017 - 10:49 pm

we try to keep a limit on tv time and survey what they watch when they do .


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