When Mummy Cannot Cope With Her Son’s Birthday #5

So it was my little man’s fifth birthday.

 

Five years old.

I wanted to do a post that encompasses all the emotions I am feeling. He is so big; time goes in leaps and bounds and trips and falls.

I would never write a post worthy of him and what I feel. So I was sitting in the car listening to this song and thought, what is the most embarrassing thing in the world…a mum attempting to semi-rap. Nailed the shame. I am singing this for your eighteenth.

P.s. Sorry to Lukas Graham for assassinating your song. I am challenging other mummy’s to pick and song and change them for their little ones, or a nursery rhyme, you can have a glass of wine to encourage creativity..do it for love…and a laugh.

 

Once you were four years old, your mama told you

she loves ya, but she feel like she’s living in a zoo,

once you were four years old.

 

It is a big big world, and you’re getting bigger

Pushing mama’s sanity to the limits, we always bicker.

After bedtime she needs a drink of burning liquor

and eats a pack of jaffa cakes, sod her figure.

Once you were one year old, your mama taught you,

to smile and jump and laugh at peek-a-boo,

Once you were one year old.

 

Once you were two years old, your mama told you

go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely (n’ stop biting them!)

Once you were two years old.

You always have that dream, like your mama before you

about the angry giraffe under the bed, too many late night stories.

No you don’t need the lavatory.

You’re not too cold, or too hot, yes the sky is blue,

to put up with this crap I must really love you.

Once you were three years old

you started to get bold

playing in the sun, when life was carefree.

Once you were three years old.

 

You can’t score a goal, you’ll never be a failure

cause I know the smallest legs, they can make it major.

As time goes on you’ll get braver and braver,

you know you’ll always be able to ask me any favour.

Once you were four years old,

don’t often do what you’re told,

began to write and read ‘bout what you see.

Once you were four years old.

 

Soon you’ll be thirty years old

I hope you have a heart of gold,

hope you have travelled the world and been roaming.

Soon you’ll be thirty years old.

You will be learning about life.

Your woman (or man) had children with you,

so you can sing them all our songs,

and can tell them stories.

 

Soon you’ll be sixty years old, I hope muma gets sixty-one

Remember life and then your life becomes a better one.

You made me so happy when you told me you loved me once.

I hope your children come and visit many times a month.

Soon you’ll be sixty years old,

I hope you’ll never think the world is cold

as you will have a lot of children who can warm you.

Soon you’ll be sixty years old.

Once you were five years old, your mama told you,

she is so proud of you and how much you grew.

Once you were five years old.

 

How do you feel each time your children get a year older, still feel the mix of joy and sorrow?