You are doing amazing. Staggering around in porridge stained pyjamas, drinking cold coffee while the baby screams at 2 am. You are amazing. You’re not alone. There are thousands of us staring bleary eyed into the night and hoping we will survive the next 18 years.
Parenting will make you vulnerable, but also stronger than you have ever been. Love yourself as much as you love them.
We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all seen other parents make mistakes. There is no perfect parent. Never has been. Mrs homemade-hummus-snacks mother sometimes thinks ‘bugger it’ and goes to McDonalds.
We all get a bit scared sometimes.
When you are at the end of your tether, when you are exhausted or seething, when patience has buggered off to the Bahamas. Take a breath. Hide in the bathroom for two minutes, call your mum. It is not you, or them. Tomorrow is a new day.
Mummy, your body rocks. You are stunning, you made a frigging person!
Now and again there is a fleeting whisper of loss at who you were and the life you had before. The freedom. It is not regret but a sense of missing. It is ok, there is no shame in that. Look at your children while they sleep, breathe in the warm milk and toast smell.
Learn to go with the flow and get over your fear of vomit and poo. Do not buy a beige sofa.
Amongst the sick, the screaming, the sarcasm, the silliness, the strops is a small person that needs you. That loves you whatever, even when they tell you they hate you. Even when they throw their dummy at your face or ask for nanny instead.
Kids make no sense, you make no sense to them. They are disgusting and pick their nose. You are boring.
Some days will feel awful, some days will be heaven and the next feel awful again. We are all on the rollercoaster, stick your hands in the air and go with it.
Daddy, you are the bearded equivalent of mummy. She and the kids need you. Just because you don’t lactate doesn’t mean you don’t kick parenting ass.
Be kind to yourself. Some days you feel like you did it wrong or you did not handle something well. You may have forgot all of Supernanny’s tips to deal appropriately with something and shouted. When I do I die inside. Say sorry if you need to, don’t beat yourself up and know you are trying to do the best you can.
Tell them that Santa, the Easter bunny and fringing leprechauns are real. Fight for that magic, hold onto it for them as long as you can.
#SOD THE GUILT
Sod the doubt and the second guessing. Get a glass of wine or cider in the evenings and in the 1.7 seconds of peace you get be glad, be thankful. I will say it again, you are amazing.
P.s. Think happy thoughts when you go through the Peppa pig stage.
Oh did I so need someone to tell me this in the first 6 weeks of having to look after my newborn and my then 18 month old daughter. It was a dark stage. But now, fast forward to baby being 4 months and I think I did a pretty kick ass amazing job at keeping them both alive LOL!
You definitely did ..kids fed and having a pulse..PARENTING WIN!XX
Definitely no beige coloured sofa (or vases or scratchable tables or anything decent for that matter.) Loved reading – thanks!
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Beautiful writing ! I understand you.
This is so beautiful! I seriously cried a little reading this. Thank you for such an amazing post.
Thank you for that lovely comment! I think it is so important to share parenting love and remind people what an amazing job they are doing x
You totally gorgeous mummy for writing this piece – I love it! So full of positivity and screams ‘real.’ I adore the smells of milk and toast that you write of and the fighting for magic. And the saying sorry – we must and we must fight the mum guilt. A beautiful post, yet again, Jade x
Yay she’s back, we missed you! Thank you for such a heartfelt comment my lovely, I am trying to share a bit of parental love 🙂 xxx
You are such a breath of fresh air 🙂 wonderful writing and advice ? Xxx #TribalLove
So gorgeous! Love you Jade, this is definitely advice all parents need to hear. It’s all too easy to beat ourselves up when really we need a pat on the back for keeping them alive ? xxx
Just a bit of kindness shared xxx
This is completely and utterly brilliant and exactly what I needed to read today! #sodtheguilt and the doubt and the second guessing! *high five* to that! Sod the coveted tiny waist line as well I’m going to get some chocolate! x
Haha I’m sitting in bed with a cornetto…fist bumps you back…lots of love and positive thoughts your way xxx