Do You Like Your Child Today? #Parents


A mother’s love is forever, a mother’s like is for….sometimes?

I am a normal, run of the mill, mother. And, I dislike my child today.

It is a brave thing to acknowledge and if we are honest, is a confession many of us can relate to as we stagger down the parenting road.

My son pinched another child in school. Sitting with a heavy heart in the too-small classroom chair I talked to his disappointed teachers. It is the second time this week. We are talking with him about using his words to speak instead of his hands. When we got home I asked him to sit with me and write a ‘sorry letter’. To give him time to process and reflect. To offer a positive way to move forwards.

My nan would have put me in the shed…

Tantrum time

Diving to the floor he screamed his opposition. Threw his snack at me. There is bread roll stuck on the ceiling…

He is hard to like right now.

Obviously I recognized he was angry (the snarling gave it away). Time for mummy to model good behaviour.  I got down to his level (noticed I need to clean the floor) and in a calm voice asked him to get up. Avoiding detailing the lengthy narrative with an irrational five year old let’s just say Mummy was firm and patient. She cross-breathed through her nose.

Mummy deserves a large glass of wine later.

Little boy chose to lay on the floor hysterical for 40 minutes and I left him to it. Can we put children on eBay?

Whispering ‘I don’t like my child’ on the phone to my mother the words barely formed on my tongue. Lack of sleep and the constancy of parenthood can wear you down emotionally. Guilt settled heavily on my shoulders. This may not sound appropriately sunshine and rainbows. Or very parental. But I was taught not to tell lies, and this lie would do he, and I, no good.

Is it me?

Do I hear the quietly spoken accusation, ‘If you were a good mother your child wouldn’t behave like this and you wouldn’t feel this way?’

I AM a good mother, I am just not a perfect mother. She is fiction.

No family is ‘happily ever after’ every minute of the day. Do you like your littles when they don’t listen, draw on the walls, flush your I phone down the toilet and scream at you?

Is it the child we don’t like or their behaviour? I look down and my hysterical, snot covered offspring. It is hard to tell right now. I stop and sigh. He is not evil, not the devil incarnate. Do I like what he is doing right now? Hell no. But I am his mother, it is my responsibility to manage this behaviour. To manage my response and my feelings.

To put four Jaffa cakes in my mouth in one go as I secretly comfort munch in the cupboard.


Avoid comparing your child to other children. That sweet little girl from next door, she bites and eats potpourri.
Parenting is imperfection, joy, sorrow and a thousand feelings in-between.

Finding the ‘like’

Our kids are not always hideous (sometimes they are asleep). They are sometimes frustrated, anxious, going through one of the many cognitive, emotional or social developmental spikes. They may really REALLY want that bowl of ice cream you selfishly won’t give them.

Children are also very perceptive. Don’t tell them they are ‘naughty’, because naughty is how he will see themselves and that little label will shape them. Our littles, with their fragile, complex, superhero caped self-esteem need to know and feel that we like and love them. Even when we want to leave them on the bus.

Your child does not have to like YOU every minute.

A little voice shouts from downstairs, ‘I am getting attacked by zombies.’ The little shuffle shuffle of feet find their way upstairs and a blotchy red eyed little boy says, ‘I am ready to say sorry.’

Gently I take his hand and lead him downstairs, praising him.

This is sometime out of a day, it is not all day every day. If you are struggling to positively connect with your child. Or do not like parenting, for you and little’s wellbeing, talk to someone. It’s ok.

Later I crawled next to my boy in his little bed as he slept. Gathered him in my arms and whispered, ‘I love you’. Two little arms held me back. We both needed stolen moment in the half-light.

Love is more powerful than like.

I will love him for always.

I like him some days.


This post was first published on the Huffington post.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday


  1. October 13, 2016 / 6:43 pm

    This is a great post. I think you’ve nailed something most mothers can’t even put into words in their own hearts let alone out loud. xx #stayclassymama
    claire recently posted…Our day at Hampton Court CastleMy Profile

  2. October 13, 2016 / 8:18 pm

    I go through this emotional rollercoaster almost daily. It’s so difficult sometimes to keep your cool and I always feel so guilty for snapping. They always manage to win our hearts again and again. #stayclassymama

  3. October 14, 2016 / 6:24 am

    Aw man that is rough. I totally think we should rewrite that children’s book because you’re right we don’t “like them for always.” My moments where I’m not sure I “like” him are when I try to change his nappy or when he wakes up in the middle of the night 5,000 times. I just read somewhere that if we are worrying about how we a bad mum then that means we are in fact a good mum because bad mums wouldn’t worry about that. What I’m trying to say is you’re a good mum! And also that children’s book is crap, did you see the Friends episode where Joey does a dramatic read of it as a birthday present for Rachel’s daughter? Lol Thanks for sharing with #StayClassyMama!

  4. October 15, 2016 / 2:07 pm

    I adore everything you write, but this is one of my absolute faves. Thank you. How are we supposed to be LOVING motherhood 24/7 when our kids lie in a heap screaming because you won’t let them eat half a Twix for breakfast (that may or may not be a true story). Sometimes we don’t love being with our kids, and that is perfectly ok! xxx #stayclassymama
    Bridie By The Sea recently posted…VLOG: Emma’s Sleep Routine, 17 monthsMy Profile

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