Where do you blog?

1)  The bathroom oddly enough is my social media headquarters.

Though I don’t have a fluffy white cat to stroke. Good thing for the cat. I sit in that tiled room of blissful silence, perched on the loo (seat down) and have a quick scroll through Twitter. Approximately I get about four minutes before little hands tap on the door, ‘MUUUUMY are you pooing again?’ My son believes I have bowel problems. Nope, I just have no peace and quiet problems. Harassment problems. Five year old problems. The bath is a good place for reading, though the opportunity is a rare thing. It is risky practice, no one wants a submerged I Phone. I have to wait till the boy is doing his little snuffle-snore or he will wake up and try and climb in the tub in his Spiderman onesie.

Note: You have to put a towel by the bath as every half hour your screen gets too steamy to focus and you may end up Tweeting #hgfgsgjsfh. Be careful NOT to take a selfie.

2) The car. When it is stationary.

Sitting outside the school I have twenty fabulous ME minutes where I can listen to bad eighties pop music, curl up in my seat and laugh hysterically at GIF’s and catch up on articles. The ladies in school reception now think I am a crazy person. Yesterday I found half open Haribo in the booster seat pocket and ate them. I didn’t feel guilty and thought I had got away with it until my son pointed out that I was wearing a gummy ring and promptly tried to munch it off my finger.

3) In bed, too late at night.

Parents get so little free time we try and max it out when we do. Ideally I would like to go to bed at half eight every night. ROCK AND ROLL. Put on my pyjama’s and haul my haggard self-up the wooden hill. But I don’t, my partner and I are determined to watch a program, hold and least a two minute conversation without one of us yawning and appreciate not being climbed on or winged at for as many hours as we can stay awake. I then, gritty eyed, try and grab some ever decreasing writing time. Cue 11pm, my prime commenting time.

4) In queues.

I HATE QUEUES. I have limited patience, am too busy for queues (I almost typed ‘too busty’ then..sadly that is not the case)they make me huff, queues not my bust. So now I ensure my queuing time is valuable, I get my social media on and take a step forward. This can be tricky if you get to involved and the lady behind you hits you with her basket in the back of the knee because the cashier is calling you. Yes I am frowning at you basket lady.

5) Anywhere I bloody can!

In the kitchen half way through cooking dinner. My phone sometimes gets a tad sticky. On public transport with the person next to me reading over my shoulder. When my son’s in gym class, in my half hour lunch break at work, hiding in the cupboard when my son has a playdate. On the trampoline.

Five random places I have blogged or attempted to tweet are:

• On the back of a horse in Iceland. I need to buy phone insurance.
• From in the middle of a ball pit.
• Sitting on my friend’s window in Wimbledon trying to get signal for a deadline.
• At the dentist. Difficult to type with someone’s finger in your mouth.
• Literally on the toilet mid tinkle…You can judge, I deserve it

I have also attempted to take a picture half way through one of Leo’s uber tantrums to use as a talking point for him later that I totally would have also put on a tweet entitled, ‘when your son is a mini dictator’. Sadly as soon as I told him I was going to take a photo he did a swift personality switch, gave a big sniff and said in a very upper class English manner, ‘no thank you’ and wandered off as I stood there completely bemused.

I would love to hear your ‘odd blog spots’ and social media dedicated times and places. I could use some inspiration and ingenuity…you have to have a better option than the toilet.

If you liked this post check out: Why blogging makes me feel bad. Blog guilt.