What do you hear yourself saying to your children?
- Don’t put that in your mouth. That is not for licking. Did you eat that stamp?
- GET DOWN….(seriously, is he part ninja..?)
- You pooed where?!
- Put on your shoes. Take off your shoes. Where are your shoes? Stupid shitty shoes..(The last part is under my breath).
- Now we have to go apologise to the neighbours.
- Raspberries are not an appropriate response.
- Why can’t you just listen?! (Oh god I have turned into my own mum).
- If you do this I will give you a treat. Yes that is a bribe. No it’s not illegal if it’s with smarties.Where did you learn about bribes??!
- Don’t ask me WHY. The answer is NO. (And I can’t think the reason).
- I love you to the moon and back. (I love you more than you can know. I am so bloody glad its bedtime, I need a cup of tea. I hope I am doing ok).
Most of these you may say from sitting on the toilet with your head in your hands.