Home All Posts A Parent’s Patience Do I Have Enough? Do I Do Enough? Am I Enough?!

My son is five…

It is fantastic. It is frustrating. I am flipping exhausted. FRAZZLED.

The soundtrack to my days is, mum, mum, mum?! In a growingly persistent little voice.

My little boy has a lot of energy and struggles to focus. When he was younger someone suggested he was teetering on the periphery of a behavioural disorder. That or I was feeding him IV caffeine and glucose.

All he wants is my time. Mum, mum, mum. But time it races by like a river after the rain and I struggle to stay afloat. It flies in an endless quantity of hasty happenings. He never stops and always wants MORE; more fun, more snacks, more talk, more entertaining, I am breathless with keeping up. There’s painting, and pirate role-playing, and inquiries about planets.

We skip, we play snap and we sing!

It is amazing and filled with love and laughter, but keeping it up for five hours is impossible without coffee.

Mum, mum, mum, through the night, even in sleep he demands I be near him.

I wake early and get dressed, get him up, reluctantly post sleepy limbs into the correct holes in his uniform, feed him…then fight over eating crusts! Loose his left shoe. Drive to school then straight to work, then straight back to school for pick up time, he has a snack and we go to whatever class is on that evening.

Is it a gym night, or a swim night, did I pack the right bag?

Mum, mum, mum!

I need a coffee! Or a wine! Perhaps a maid, a nights sleep and to hide in a cupboard.

We go home and do our reading before the overtired whine sets in. I cook dinner whilst trying to play. Constant questions and tugging on my sleeve.

I try to count to ten in my head, but get interrupted by three

If I am lucky I can cook my partners tea at the same time, if not I will cook again later. Some days we just get chips, take out Tuesdays. I feel bad but cannot face the buggering oven. It’s then a game, or trampoline time or me doing my Optimus Prime voice as we get our Transformers on.

MUM, MUM, MUM!  Bedtime stories and the sleep battle follows a reluctant bath time.

I AM BORED. YOU ARE NOT LISTENING. PLAY NOW. JUMP HIGHER. MAKE ME LAUGH. RIGHT NOW. I often find myself get past the end of their tether…

This is my day as a mummy. I try and be patient but I sometimes just want to shout sod off.

I want to wee solo!

Sometimes in the week I put a film on Netflix, is that lazy parenting? We didn’t buy a license so we wouldn’t get drawn in to having Mr Tumble on daily in the background. Or worse, Peppa pig.

He woke at 5am Wednesday so I let him have twenty minutes on my tablet because I was just so tired. What amount of screens quantifies a bad parent? Do I burn in the mummy netherworld if I admit I like that he sits quietly concentrating, the only time he does, so I can run round like a bat out of hell (Meatloaf fan…) and get a couple of the 836 jobs I need to do in the day done. What more can I give?

Sometimes I sit on the toilet for an extra two minutes peace.

I love my son. his curiosity his ‘oomph’. I want to give him a world of adventures and answers. But ohhhh the nagging! How does everyone else manage?! Is there a an energy station somewhere because I need to fill up.

I am not perfect, I do not want my son thinking he needs to be, he sees I love him, he sees I try. Take a break if you can..hide in a cupboard, breathe, just love them and laugh, vigorously hoover something, get up ten minutes earlier and just sit with a cuppa, call your mum…we all have those days…be patient with yourself you are only human and there is no perfect parent.

Parenting is not about perfection and parenting is one big lesson in patience.

 

…MUMMMY!!!!!

 

If you liked this post check out my most difficult test in patience: “MUMMY. I am going to poo in my Spiderman onesie.” The power battles of a five year old.

 

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30 comments

mummyitsok 23rd May 2016 - 7:05 pm

I hear you! Hahaha I too have hidden in the toilet for 2 minutes peace and quiet, especially as we are in the mummy but why phase!
http://www.mummyitsok.com

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theparentingjungle 24th May 2016 - 6:31 am

Ooooh the but way phase is delight……similarly to the ‘NOW’ faze and my current favourite…that’s not fair phase…xx

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Becky, Cuddle Fairy 23rd May 2016 - 9:38 am

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all just do the best we can. 5am isn’t fun times for anyone – if a tablet can buy you an extra half hour sleep then I say go for it! That phase will be gone in a year & the bit of tablet time won’t have hurt anyone! Thanks so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK

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theparentingjungle 23rd May 2016 - 5:07 pm

It is always lovely to join you! I think the lovely thing about the blog world is I have been able to take the idea of perfect or normal parenting and hide it in the cupboard xx

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min1980 22nd May 2016 - 8:19 pm

Loved this! Definitely a snapshot of what’s to come with Piglet. You sound like a fantastic mum! #triballove

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theparentingjungle 23rd May 2016 - 5:05 pm

You are amazing and from all the balls you juggle I’m sure will manage the frightful fives..I made that up..fantastic five was taken..with grace and awesomeness xxx

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An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum) 20th May 2016 - 7:39 pm

Absolutely spot on honey. The patience level needs filling up sometimes. Have a coffee with a friend, grab 2 minutes for a moan/laugh on social media, open a bottle of wine, watch TV. I guess I am trying to say don’t forget you too. It is easy to lose ourselves whilst taking care of our most precious ones. Big love. TY for linking up to #FamilyFun ?

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theparentingjungle 22nd May 2016 - 8:43 am

I am trying to work try hard to remember me in the equation, me often gets lots in mummy! Having an amazing group of ladies to chat too definitely helps my patience and my sanity! x

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thetaleofmummyhood 20th May 2016 - 7:01 pm

Wow, reading this gives me an insight of what is to come with my two girl who are 1 and 5 weeks. Great post, I’m preparing myself already!

#BloggerClubUK

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theparentingjungle 22nd May 2016 - 8:40 am

By the time your little ones are 4 you will be a master having two…I am always in aware of anyone who mage to keep more than one breathing, especially close together..I wish I had done it as now mine is so much older he keeps saying he is sad he doesn’t have a sibling to play with. Enjoy the very new little lady, I send lots of love and caffeine related thoughts your way x

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marmeemarch 20th May 2016 - 7:01 pm

I thought I was a patient person until I had children! I have a five year old just like yours, but reassuringly my eight year old nags less, so as much as I enjoy my child as a five year old and I am not truly wishing her childhood away – there is hope!!

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marmeemarch 20th May 2016 - 7:01 pm

#FamilyFun (I always forget the hashtags!!)

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theparentingjungle 22nd May 2016 - 8:36 am

Haha this makes me feel so much better it is a marvellous stage and I love my son but my sanity is reassured that the constant nagging does lesson…I was in the shower earlier and he stood outside it just constantly knocking going come on mummy come on…hurry up..ahaghagh. xx

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jeremy@thirstydaddy 20th May 2016 - 3:37 pm

Mine is going to be 5 next week. She gets about 45 minutes on her tablet every morning while daddy has his coffee and shower. Most of her apps are educational and frankly, I need that time in the morning for all the reasons you pointed out. We all find our own ways to cope or we’d go crazy #familyfun

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theparentingjungle 20th May 2016 - 4:24 pm

Ahhh I am in the world of the five year old at the moment. It is a wonderful and demanding time! Thanks for a lovely comment x

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Sassy 19th May 2016 - 11:31 pm

It sounds utterly exhausting being a parent, not gonna lie! Of course you are doing a fantastic job, you are definitely a brilliant parent! I just wish there was a magic pill parents could take to re-energise them, sleep for five minutes and it feels like it’s five hours !! The fact that Leo is so curious is a wonderful thing, he’s probably going to be extremely creative when he is older! 🙂 Big hugs you are doing great! xxx #TribalLove

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theparentingjungle 20th May 2016 - 8:06 am

Hey lovely lady, I want to try one of those floatation tanks where you sit in it for ten minutes and it is apparently like having a nights sleep. I need that!..or I would have a panic attack in an enclosed space and feel worse!x

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occupation:(m)other 18th May 2016 - 8:34 pm

Oh this is so perfect, and again so beautifully written. My son is only nearly three so that might explain it but you have described him to a tee. Honestly? It’s wonderful of course but exhausting and at time hiding in a cupboard is really the only way to cope. It’s ALL DAY. Screen time is my friend. At the moment, in particular, I need to have those thirty minutes or longer where he is sat quiet and cuddly and I can sit too – or dash around so I can sit down later. It’s hard, relentless often. I wouldn’t change it or him of course – I love his liveliness but it doesn’t make it a walk in the park…more like a sprint through a burning forest – in the most loving possible way obviously #BloggerClubUK

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theparentingjungle 19th May 2016 - 4:13 pm

……Typing the reply from in the cupboard……Yes I totally get the burning forest analogy…I love running through it…but feel the constant impending doom..that’s my parenting world! x

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babytremlett 18th May 2016 - 8:01 pm

With ya girly, so true! Love the parenting jungle pic, says it all perfectly 🙂 xxx

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cherylbarry 18th May 2016 - 8:15 pm

Oh I’m so with you! I have an “inquisitive” 4 year old and a demanding and bossy 2 year old. Every day I wake up and promise myself that I will have more patience today and every day I end up losing it! I miss the nap times because it can be so bloomin relentless! #BloggerClubUk

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theparentingjungle 19th May 2016 - 4:11 pm

Relentless is the most perfect description. I was worried that this post would sound like I was being negative, I always love my son but it is constant!! Hats off for managing too!! xx

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blabbermama 18th May 2016 - 7:48 pm

You have just given me a glimpse of what life will be like in the future. I have a 7 month old boy- and I have a feeling ‘Mum Mum MUM’ will be his favourite words. Whoever invented coffee was a genius and obviously a parent as well!

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babiesbiscuitsandbooze 18th May 2016 - 11:55 am

Jade I adore this! You’re an amazing mum. Patience is definitely required to be a parent. My brother’s ex has a 6 year old and would often say similar things to this, how do you cope when they demand your attention all the time, have a question about EVERYTHING, need constant reassurance etc. It’s so hard!! I will definitely be utilising the Netflix babysitter as TM grows I”m sure. You’re wonderful and you do loads with Leo. If you need an extra few mins on the loo that is entirely understandable!! #bloggerclubuk

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theparentingjungle 18th May 2016 - 1:37 pm

Hehehe quality time on the toilet! I am getting a bathroom sign that says that! Twitter toilet time…much love lady thank you for such a kind comment xx

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justsayingmum 18th May 2016 - 7:59 am

‘sit on the toilet for an extra two minutes peace – oh that made me laugh out loud! I love this post for what it really mens – we can’t be perfect all the time and actually we shouldn’t expect our children to be either and its good for them perhaps seeing us not at our best sometimes too – we all have those days and we mustn’t get mum guilt – reading all these bloggers at the moment with toddlers who do so much with their kids I feel like I’ve permanently ruined my children as they didn’t do half as much – but do you know what? I think they are the best and I love them to pieces – they make me ridiculously proud all the time and my heart literally bursts at the things they say and do so imperfect parenting can’t be all bad. Lovely post gorgeous #BloggerClubUK

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theparentingjungle 18th May 2016 - 1:36 pm

You are always so loving and kind in your responses, digital cuddle. I thought this was a bit of a rambly post but I just wanted to share a bit of the..mum mum mum from my day. Bet your kids are so proud to have you as a mummy xxx

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justsayingmum 18th May 2016 - 1:51 pm

aww thanks lovely! ha ha – who knows – they are a little bit lovely xx

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beautybabyandme 18th May 2016 - 7:08 am

Thank you for posting this – your positivity is infectious. I’m reading this after an awful night but it’s boosted me. Yes we’re on call 24/7 and it’s exhausting but all us mums have saint like patience! We are doing well even when we feel we’re being horribly impatient xx #BloggerClubUK

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theparentingjungle 18th May 2016 - 8:41 am

Coffee. Lots of coffee.Sorry to hear you have had a bad night my lovely, its such a good comment that the post may have made you feel a bit better, I hope so 🙂 Digital hugs. xxx

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